My Story - It’s Been 25 Years…

As I sat down to journal this morning, I realized what day today was and the reminder today holds.  It’s been 25 years since my Grace Noel died.  I know I haven’t continued on with the rest of my story yet, and I will, but I wanted to post something for my Grace today.  As I sat down to journal and wrote the date, words from my heart flowed forth…

My dearest Grace,

I loved you then, and I love you now.  I will never stop loving you.  You have always been and will always be an important part of my life.  Forever, you have touched and changed in some way every part of me and who I am.  Even though your life was very short on this earth, your life made a great impact.  Your life certainly had a lot of meaning.  Oh my sweet child, my arms will always long to hold you—they ache to hold you and hug you.  I long to look into your face, to know you, to speak to you, to let you look into my eyes and see how sorry I am for what I did and let you know how much you mean to me.  Thoughts of you in my mind are never far.  I miss you and look forward to seeing you in the future when we meet in heaven.  Until then, I will have my thoughts of you, and I will thank you for touching my life so deeply forever.  What an honor I had to carry your life in my womb for those brief six weeks.  You are a part of me forever.  I love you.  Until we see each other,

                                                              Love you lots,

                                                                          Mom

And Grace, I will never understand why things turned out the way they did 25 years ago.  I don’t know why my fears had to overcome my making the decision to let you grow and be born.  The thoughts of it all grieve me, and I am so sorry it all turned out the way it did.  But I’m also certain that God’s grace covers my decision and your death and that in the future all that will not be a barrier between us.  Oh, beautiful Grace, I so love you and miss you.  I’m always envisioning your little body as it would have looked 25 years ago today.  Your little heart beating, your tiny feet and hands.  Oh, so sweet and precious.  I can’t even imagine how you will look in the future when I see you.  But I’m going to be so happy to see you!!  Joy, oh joy!

                                                           Love you lots and lots,

                                                                                 Mom

I so thank God that He has done such a redeeming work in my life over the last 25 years!  He is The Great Redeemer!