A Mother's Loss

A friend of mine recently faced the immensely painful loss of losing both her twin boys to premature labor at 24 weeks.  Her baby boys weren’t yet strong enough to survive out of her womb.  As I read her post on Facebook, I felt so saddened for her and the painfully, excruciating loss she now faced.  I felt sorrow wash over me like an unwanted cold shower battering my skin, making me feel physically faint.

Years ago, when I went through the post-abortive study and walked through my (finally allowed) grieving process over Grace Noel, I experienced and learned the deep feelings of a mother’s loss of her baby child.  Because of my experiences, today I am able to commiserate and feel with other mothers when they experience this loss.  It is an agony no words can touch.  It is an agony which makes one feel drowned in sorrow and in desperate, unbelievable realization that what happened cannot be changed.  It cannot be undone.  Babies cannot be brought back from the dead.  We can only continue to put one foot in front of the other through the searing fire of sorrow and wait for God and time to heal the wounds, while also leaving the scars.  

I am healed, but my scars remain as a source of love, understanding, and compassion for myself and others.  A mother’s loss of a child is beyond words of human explanation or comprehension, only another mother who has faced a similar situation can possibly understand with the depths of her soul.  My heart and soul lovingly hug each and every mother who has faced such loss.